to bet on yourself, rely on others

in ,
 

Theo and Miquel supporting me on The Rookie in Squamish, BC.

 

Originally published on my newsletter, Unsend It.

To climb at my absolute limit, I have to fucking go for it.

This is one of the most beautiful aspects of climbing. When you empty your mind and go for it, you do things you had no idea you were capable of. Failing, falling, or looking stupid in front of others is a possibility. But you still go for the move. PSSSSSSAH!

In climbing, I’ve learned to bet on myself.

Thanks, Shea. (Source)

Or, as Visakan puts it, yeet thyself. You learn to yeet thyself in climbing.

I’ve learned that betting on yourself ≠ being a lone wolf. You aren’t Solid Snake who always works alone. Betting on yourself requires you to work with others. In bouldering, you’re able to send more quickly and have a good time. In sport, trad, and multi-pitch climbing, your life literally depends on you working with others.

Work hard problems with others

I used to mostly work boulder problems alone, but I now mostly work boulder problems with others. I’m not as successful at sending when I work it alone, and I send much more quickly with a partner.

It’s funny. In my work life, I default to working on hard problems with other people. But when I first started bouldering outside, I defaulted to working on hard problems alone. What the.

  • Me at work: “Hey, you willing to jam with me on this problem for 30 minutes over a call?”

  • Beginner boulderer me at the crag: I guess I’m gonna bring my 3 pads to my project and work it solo

Working Israil alone January 2022.

Then over a couple of years, I realized that most of my most difficult sends (completed boulder problems) involved other people.

From my 2021 year in review:

I’ve had a partner there with me on every big project I had this year:

Jones’n - my brother Kevin

Serengeti - my friend John Chung

Electric Lady - my friend Joe Gallardo

Seven Spanish Angels - Joe and Nico

Pink Lady - my brother Kevin and my niece Emma

Moon Drops - my friend Nico

Climbing truly is a team sport. In 2022, I want to continue to unlearn my tendency to go at things alone and work on projects with people I care about and trust.

In 2022, all six of my completed bouldering projects involved others:

  • Gleaner, I worked with two friends.

  • Equinox, I worked with a fellow climber.

  • Israil I sent alone but had worked it with others prior to sending.

  • Center Visor I projected alone but looked at other climber’s beta (moves on a route) online as I figured out my own.

  • Acid Wash I sent alone, but received beta that unlocked my send from a stranger.

  • Cindy Swank, I got help from two more experienced climber friends.

And in 2023, all seven of completed bouldering projects also involved others:

While I’ve sent some problems alone, I’ve always gained something from working problems with other friends, partners, and even strangers. Others help you fall safely. They give you feedback on your moves, which often leads to sending more quickly. And, you just have way more fun climbing with others. Hard problems are meant to work with others.

No greasy holds here. The homie Theo keeping the holds dry with his fan.

You often trust a stranger with your life in climbing

Imagine trusting someone you just met with your life.

“Hey person I just met on Instagram, you want to do four pitches up a 300-foot multi-pitch? Even though we’ve never climbed together and have zero idea of each other’s belay experiences?”

We don’t normally trust other people with our lives after first meeting them. But we do in climbing. It’s so weird.

When you climb on a rope, you literally trust your partner with your life. If your partner doesn’t belay properly, you can get hurt. If they’re not giving you enough slack when you fall, your body can drive into the wall, which can hurt your ankle. You can hit the ground if your partner’s hand isn’t holding the rope below the belay device.

Despite these risks, I surprise myself with how fast I am to make plans to climb with others I don’t know that well. There’s immediate trust that this person will catch me if I fall. No doubt.

Of course, I have certain climbing partners that I really trust. And when I climb with someone I haven’t climbed much with, I’ll ask them to show me how they belay before I climb up. But after quickly learning about another person’s climbing experiences, I surprise myself with how quick I am to make a plan to climb with them. Maybe I’m too open to trusting others. But I find that other climbers tend to trust other climbers they just met, too.

I’ve always found this fascinating. What about climbing makes it easy for people to trust their life with someone they just met when in real life we barely trust others with watching our dog?

Maybe climbers have this implicit understanding that they have to rely on others to send something hard or even just have a good time. Maybe climbing often forces you to learn how to quickly find partners you can trust. I’m sure there’s more to it.

Working with others helps you bet on yourself

When you work with others, you’re able to bet on yourself. You’re able to enter the mindset that you can do the damn thing. It’s possible to enter this mindset alone, but it’s much easier to enter this mindset with others who are also betting on you.

Of course, set your boundaries too. Sometimes you need to work on something alone to make progress.

But don’t be a lone wolf. Be someone who bets on themselves. Work hard problems with others. And trust others worth trusting. You’ll go beyond your own expectations of what you’re able to accomplish.

What I’m Reading/Listening To

  1. Jenn DeBellis on The Nugget Climbing podcast. Super inspired to see someone send V11 after climbing for only six years.

  2. 5 Common Projecting Mistakes from Boulder Baddie. Faith summarized literally everything about projecting that I’ve learned the hard way.

  3. I started Four Thousand Weeks and it’s really good.

  4. Zadie Smith on the Psychology of the Two Types of Writers.

  5. Sticking it out by Ava. “If you get stuck, stay relatively consistent, keep trying ways to get out of it, keep practicing, be patient, be patient. (This step may take one to five years).”