2022 Year in Review
Every year, I reflect on my year and set some intentions for the next. I used to reflect on my years in my private notes, until last year when I posted my first public year in review. I enjoyed doing that — I felt like I was participating in a special practice on the internet.
So, here’s my year in review for 2022.
This is a 20-minute read. It’s not meant to be short. I reflect on most aspects of my life.
tl;dr
I traveled the most I’ve ever traveled this year
I launched a paid edition of my newsletter
I refocused my role at garden3D (my full-time employer)
I’m enjoying mentoring
My relationship with Kayla has deepened
I sent my first two outdoor V7s (and still have tons of unfinished projects)
I didn’t injure my fingers after having three finger injuries last year
Kayla and I started to sport climb outside
I did my first multi-pitch in Patagonia
I’ve learned that love is a force multiplier for unleashed potential
I traveled the most I’ve ever traveled
I’m from California. And for twenty-two years, I had no idea that California is a home (or is next to) some of the best outdoor climbing in the world. Bishop. Red Rocks. Yosemite. Utah. Squamish.
I didn’t grow up going to these places. Now that I climb outdoors, I had to.
This year, I decided to continue living with my parents so that I could keep my cost of living low enough to a) work four days a week and b) have the means to go to (and live in) places I wanted to climb at. I’m fortunate to have a job that supports me in doing this.
Fortunately, Kayla also loves traveling. She also works remotely and also stays with her parents at the moment. So the idea of traveling and living remotely came naturally to us.
Trips I’ve taken this year, by the raw numbers:
10 weekend trips to a climbing crag (like Bishop, Red Rocks, 4-6 hour drives).
7 weekday trips to a climbing crag
3 road trips that spanned at least three states (1. SoCal to New Mexico, 2. SoCal to Squamish, 3. SoCal to Utah)
2 monthlong trips (June-July in NYC, August in Squamish & the Pacific Northwest)
2 trips to South America
Currently, I’m just ending an eight-week sabbatical. My employer offers a six-week sabbatical for employees of three years — I’m fortunate to work with people who value work-life balance. I hope to reflect on my sabbatical in a separate post. But after taking eight weeks off (two extra weeks for the holidays), I want to build sabbaticals into my future years.
What I want to lean into next year: less frequent, longer trips. Most of my trips this year were 3-14 days long. And frequent. Which meant that these trips were jam-packed. Pack. Drive/Fly. Unpack. Plan. Climb. Eat. Explore. What, the trip’s over?
Kayla and I did do two monthlong trips: a month in New York in June, and a month in Squamish and the Pacific Northwest. I realized that I enjoy longer trips more than shorter trips because I have the time to get into a routine, build relationships with locals, project a boulder problem (if it’s a climbing trip), and… slow down. So rather than more frequent shorter trips, I want to lean into less frequent, longer trips. What if we lived in Yosemite for a month?
Nov 2022. Alabama Hills, Lone Pine, CA.
August 2022. Squamish, Canada. My truck bed doesn’t just fit my crash pads. It fits two humans!
I launched a paid edition of The Overlap
I launched a paid edition of The Overlap, my newsletter. Readers who choose to pay get two more editions of The Overlap. Free readers continue to receive biweekly newsletters.
From my launch newsletter:
I want to test my assumption that few readers want The Overlap more often. I see myself writing long-term, so I want to explore asking my most committed readers for their financial support!
So far, I’ve published three paid editions. We have 7 paid subscribers thus far, 3 of whom pre-paid the full year.
It’s not a lot! But I’ve learned that growing a newsletter is a marathon, not a sprint — The Overlap has grown to 1213 subscribers in 2+ years. I just have to continue to be consistent.
And 3 people willing to pay for a full year is enough to motivate me to write for them. There’s also something interesting about writing for a smaller audience. These folks choose to receive more from me. Perhaps I can shift my mentality from “growing a larger audience” to “writing for a smaller dedicated audience” here.
I refocused my role at garden3D
In 2021, I became a Studio Coordinator for garden3D’s product design studio. My role was focused on our studio’s overall success. I finished out 2021 in this role and continued it into 2022. In October, I announced to my team that I’m stepping out of that role to focus on being a Strategist (again).
Having a unique impact in the organization I work with is important to me. And being a Studio Coordinator allowed me to create a unique impact. I used my org design and facilitation skills in this role. I helped our team frame strategic bets, continually fostered alignment across studios, and supported our studio in working in healthy ways.
However, the overall challenge my role took on — leading Manhattan Hydraulics towards a vision — wasn’t the challenge I wanted to do.
One phrase I like from education and outdoor sports is “challenge by choice.” We’re all empowered to decide whether or not we want to take on a certain challenge. I chose a challenge that I no longer wanted to take on.
So, in 2023, I decided to take on a new (slash old) kind of challenge: going back to my first role as a product strategist. As a Product Strategist, I’m back to impacting our client-facing teams rather than our overall studio. In traditional terms, my role is less managerial — I’m back to being a team contributor. (If you’re curious about what these words mean, I wrote about how we work here!)
Here’s what I announced to the design team:
As I step down from Studio Coordinator (and Simone and James step into that role), I’m going to focus on strategy.
Why am I stepping down? I’ve never dreamed of building a design practice. Many people do. I like the design process. I like well-designed things. But I don’t sweat design like many of you do. I also think others who are more skilled, experienced, and passionate about design than I am would make for better Studio Coordinators than I can ever be. I can help with ops, and I can help with resourcing, but I don’t strongly hold a vision for how we approach design.
I do, however, care a lot about aligned autonomy.
I’ve learned that autonomy happens when we’re aligned on what it is we’re trying to do. If you and I, as teammates, know what we’re trying to achieve, we can act autonomously; we can act freely toward our goal. Clarifying that goal, developing a well-informed perspective on what that goal should be, clarifying what we aren’t doing, and helping teams champion our goals — to me this is the job of a strategist.
Product Strategist was what I was first hired to do at garden3D (technically, Sanctuary back then). We saw me as someone who could help evolve our point of view on strategy. I feel like my role has deviated from that (for many reasons): I took on more studio coordinator-y responsibilities, I introduced some org design stuff, I helped build Manhattan Hydraulics, and I project-led some big engagements. You can see it in my Skill Tree: my Leadership & IC skills have grown much more than my Strategist skills in my time here.
I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished at garden3D. And, it’s super important for me to be focused on something that gets me stoked and creates an impact.
So, back to strategy.
My team supported this shift!
I’m nervous but excited.
I want to give Jacob Heftmann (our other Design Studio Coordinator) a shoutout for helping me see this for myself. In July, he asked me if I wanted to continue as a Studio Coordinator or not as we train others into Studio Coordinators. And reminded me that I’m empowered to design my job.
I know not everyone can just say, “Hey, I’m unhappy in my current role and would love to change it.” While garden3D isn’t perfect, we do our best to make it safe for people to say if they want to change their role. I’m lucky to work somewhere where changing your role isn’t just welcomed—it’s the norm.
On top of strategy, I enjoy mentoring
So in addition to going back into strategy work, I’m also mentoring Sam Taylor, another fellow strategist. Working with Sam is my favorite part of my job. Here’s why:
When I started at The Ready — my first employer — fresh out of college, we never had a designed structure to support my growth. We were just starting the company. I was lucky to have generous, smart coworkers who decided to take the time to mentor me. But I had to create the structure on my own. Which was… hard! Sam wants a structure for his growth. I’m super motivated to help co-create one with him. I know that it was hard for me to figure out growth on my own.
When I started at garden3D at 26, I was mentored by Conor O’Holleran. I learned a lot from him. I hope to mentor him in a similar way Conor mentored me.
Sam is a dope human being. He lights up any room he’s in. Ask anyone who’s worked with him and they’ll attest to that.
Before I went on sabbatical in November, Sam and I wrapped a strategy phase with a nonprofit based in NYC. Sam, me, and the client aligned on some crucial decisions in week 3 of the project. This is huge — I’ve done other projects where we wouldn’t reach this level of alignment until week 6. And this was mostly Sam’s doing. I was mainly supporting. I’m proud of the strategy work we did on this project and can’t wait to see what we do next.
My relationship with Kayla has deepened
Kayla and I put a lot of attention toward the way we communicate with each other. Both of us want to communicate in ways that strengthen our relationship.
And this work has been easeful, believe it or not. I think it’s easeful because we both practice being more aware of our own tendencies and how it impacts our partner. And we are both so willing to address deep challenges in our relationship together.
One example of a tendency of mine that I’m trying to be more aware of: not sharing when I feel irritated, annoyed, or upset. When I feel a negative emotion, my instinct is to handle it on my own rather than share it with my partner in a way that helps them understand their impact on me. Kayla told me that my hiding how I feel makes her feel suspicious. She encourages me to share when I feel a type of way so she can understand and meet my needs.
It's like, duh, Tim. I always want to know if my partner feels upset. So why would I want to hide when I do? Oh, cuz I used to shy away from conflict.
So, I’ve been… sharing how I feel more often! In ways that aren’t heated or combative. Nonviolent communication has helped me here: “When you [do x], I felt [this emotion]. I value [this]… would you be willing to [do this in the future]?”
I often return to what Alain De Botton said once:
“Love is a painful, poignant, touching attempt by two flawed individuals to meet each other’s needs in situations of gross uncertainty and not knowing who they are (but we’re gonna do our best).”
I can’t help my partner meet my needs if I don’t communicate how I feel.
It’s hard for me to articulate other ways Kayla’s and my relationship have deepened without writing an hour-long blog post. We see our impact on our friends and family. We dream together. We plan together. Then we realize when we’re overplanning and then find our way back to the present moment. We hold space for each other. We critique, debate, listen, and learn. I communicate honestly; so does she. We both value honesty and transparency, and practice it.
Acid Wash right, jug start. Took me 3 sessions total.
What helped with this send:
Breaking the problem into pieces.
Asking for feedback from another climber. (This feedback led me to change my hand positioning in the beginning, which led me to connect all my moves, which led me to send)
Cindy Swank. Took me 3 sessions total.
What helped with this send:
Libby and Westy’s support. Grateful to have met these friendly, hilarious humans (and absolute crushers). They supported me throughout each of my attempts. (If you climb outside, you should reach out to them if you’re ever in Bozeman.)
Healthy fingers! It’s a crimpy problem.
Not overthinking during the crux (crux = the hardest part of the problem). I notice that I overthink my moves when I’m in the hardest part of the climb. “I’m at the crux! I hope I’m doing this correctly…” But when I turned my brain off and focused on one move at a time, I was able to nail the crux.
I even started to piece together the beginning of Swanky Sit (V9) — the sit start to Cindy Swank. Can’t wait to work Swanky Sit in the future.
I’m fucking psyched that I’m climbing at my highest level right now. I know grades are subjective, but it feels great to say I’ve sent two V7s in Bishop.
I also have nine unfinished V6s & V7s
With every successful send, there are unsuccessful sends. When we watch bouldering videos on YouTube or Instagram, it’s always the climber finishing the problem and rarely the dozens (if not hundreds) of attempts of that climber falling. So I want to be open about projects I haven’t sent.
I’ve projected nine problems that I haven’t sent:
Of the problems I’ve projected this year, I’ve sent six V6’s+ and haven’t sent nine V6’s+.
I don’t see this as a negative thing that I haven’t sent 60% of the projects I’ve worked on in 2022. Every climber I know has unfinished projects. Some professional climbers take ten years to send a problem.
But I do want to lessen the number of sessions it takes me to send a problem. I’ve put in 7-8 sessions on Seven Spanish Angels, 9 sessions on Cracker Boy, and 5 on Every Color You Are. That’s a lot: each session I drive, hike up to the problem with pads, and spend 1.5-2.5 hours there.
Conventional wisdom says that the harder you work toward a goal, the higher the chance you’ll achieve it. I’ve lived my life believing this. But when I’m working hard on a goal and still not reaching it, I’ve learned that I need work less hard. And think. What’s holding me back from sending this? What about my feet or body positioning prevents me from sending it? This narrative of “working hard” traps me into working hard on the same moves, which isn’t helping me send. Instead, I need to change my approach to get the send. Many times, those changes are very, very subtle. Like:
Shifting your left hand two inches to the right (Acid Wash)
Pointing my toe down instead of out on a heel hook
Stepping high and then leaning into that foothold to reach the next hold
This is why I want to include flashing lower-graded problems next year into my sessions. I think practicing flashing will force me to think about how I’m going to send the problem, rather than just throw myself mindlessly on it. This also ensures that I include sending in my sessions. Most of my outdoor bouldering sessions are on one project. Projecting is about being happy with making progress every session when you don’t send it. But let’s be real: sending is fun! And not sending isn’t that fun. If I include flash attempts in my sessions, I’m systematically building sending into my sessions, which is fun and motivating. That motivation can fuel me as I continue to work problems at my level.
No fingers injuries this year!!!
In 2021, I injured three finger pulleys within six months. These injuries came from, again, working too hard on the same moves.
This year, I didn’t have any finger injuries. Huge.
From 2021’s Year in Review:
…I injured three finger pulleys within six months. While finger injuries are common, they shouldn’t be this common. There’s something in the way I train that causes this. My goal in 2022 is to have zero pulley strains and send my first outdoor V8.
Here’s how I adapted my approach:
I limited my gym sessions to no longer than 2.5 hours.
I hangboard twice a week. To improve my finger strength.
I don’t gym climb two days in a row. Always have a rest day in between training days.
When projecting outside, I warm up my fingers before climbing. Especially if my project requires a lot of finger strength.
When projecting boulders outside, I limit myself to 13 attempts per session. This forces me to make each attempt count.
If my fingers or wrists feel any pain, I rest. If the pain lingers, I stop my session.
Climbing, to me, is an infinite game. In a finite game, you play to win. In an infinite game, you play to keep playing. I climb to keep climbing. I don’t climb to injure myself.
I started to sport climb
Kayla and I started sport climbing this year!
We both really enjoy it.
There’s a lot more I can say about sport climbing. But here’s the part in my year in review where I’m pooped from writing and just want to look at sick pictures:
April 2022. Suesca, Colombia. Kayla toproping on El Canal de Panama, 5.6. Film shot I took on Kayla’s camera.
May 2022. Big Bear, CA. Chaps My Hide. Onsighted my first 5.11a, on lead.
May 2022. Big Bear, CA. The homies Joe, Alex, Chase, Olivia, and Ripley.
October 2022. Nuevo Bayamón, Puerto Rico. ADD, 5.10b. Cruxing hungover after the last night of garden3D’s retreat. Guide: Island Climber
November 2022. Owens River Gorge in Bishop, CA. Kayla rippin’ through Sesame Street.
November 2022. Owens River Gorge, Bishop, CA. I onsight Shadow Plan.
December 2022. Bariloche, Patagonia, Argentina. Workin’ the crux on Mala Mecha, 5.11a. A rock broke and I took a whipper on this one 🤯. (Seriously, it’s the last story on my Instagram highlight)
December 2022. Bariloche, Patagonia, Argentina. Kayla working Admiral Akbar — the toughest route she’s worked! She even untangled my twisted towrope midclimb. And took a film shot of the view at the top.
I did my first multi-pitch in Patagonia
Multi-pitch is a style of climbing that gets you on top of really, really tall things. Like 200-400 feet tall. It’s a whole different ball game from bouldering and sport climbing.
I’m psyched to end my sabbatical by doing my first multi-pitch in Patagonia. Read more about it on the Instagram post.
Not making climbing my entire identity makes me a better climber
Some counterintuitive insight that’s helped me get better at climbing: don’t make climbing my full identity. Lean into my other interests. Devoting time to other things I enjoy (my partner, my family, dancing, writing, my work) means I won’t climb all the time, which means I rest, which means my body will be physically ready to perform at its peak when I climb.
I’m naturally accomplishment-driven for many reasons, one of them being that I hold this narrative that I’m loved because of what I accomplish. This narrative is common among many firstborn second-generation Filipino Americans. I can easily see myself putting my self-worth into climbing. So, I’m trying not to do that. I remind myself that people love me regardless of what I accomplish. (My climbing partner Joe likes to joke that Kayla developed a crush on me during a day I was climbing at my worst — she didn’t care if I was sending or not.)
I can push my climbing limits and not attach this to my worth. Having other passions helps. Accepting that I’m loved despite what I accomplish regardless helps too.
☁️☁️☁️
Answering my lsat year’s Open Questions
I ended 2021’s review with some open questions. Thought it would be fun to try to answer these at the end of 2022.
Given that I enjoy living a life outside, how can I better align my finances to support this lifestyle? What must I learn to say no to?
Much of my cost of living is literally eating (I like to eat). This year I meal prep and cook while traveling. And when not traveling, spending time at home with my parents who love to cook.
I’ve also said no to an apartment. Kayla and I would love to move into her grandma’s old house in Los Angeles when it’s open for rent (right now it’s being rented). While we love traveling, we want to go home to our space. I do envision the traveling slowing down as I save for her grandma’s place.
What would it take for me to live a life on the road while working remotely?
Having reliable coffeeshops to talk on video calls. 😆
Keeping my plate pretty limited at work. Saying no. Keeping meetings between 9am-12pm (I try not to take meetings after 1pm Pacific). Climbing after lunch. Making sure I’m still meeting my commitments to my team and clients.
How might I live a nomadic lifestyle yet still have a routine? What routines can I practice regardless of where I am in the world?
My friend Phylizia says “mornings are for you.” I try to keep a morning routine regardless of where I am.
If I’m car camping, I’ll wipe my face, make coffee, write down what I’m grateful for, and stretch for 5 minutes before starting my day.
If I’m staying at an airbnb/hotel, I shower, make coffee, write down what I’m grateful for, and stretch.
How can Manhattan Hydraulics be a catalyst for winning new and interesting work for garden3d?
Continuing work with clients like Black Socialists in America. Sharing publicly our internal tools and thinking. Letting others in our network know that we want to work with founders who want to do some kind of net good in the world and need product design help. Rejecting specialization. Having a distinct vibe and voice.
I’m excited to see where Simone and James — our two new Studio Coordinators — take this.
How much of garden3d’s capacity should be focused on emergent/inventive work (e.g., web3, social impact) vs work we’ve done in the past that we’re good at?
I’m not sure. 25% inventive work, 75% of our bread-and-butter (rebranding, eCommerce and content sites)?
This is tough because we’ve been more deliberate about our financial goals this year. This means we’re more inclined to say yes to work even if it’s not inventive. And despite the tech industry laying off more than 91,000 people this year, our profit has been steady. And I think we’re doing work we’re proud of, even if it’s not at a GPT-3-level of cutting edge.
As I’m no longer a Studio Coordinator, I’ll be excited to see how I can support where the other Studios Coordinators take this.
What decisions do I want to spend my time and attention on? What decisions can I just move quickly on?
Decisions I tried to move quickly on:
Should I go out to Bishop this weekend to work on my project? (Yes, duh.)
Should I try this project regardless of if I fail? (Yes, absolutely.)
Should I eat at this place or that place? (Whatever just pick one!)
What’s the best way to structure this meeting/workshop? (You usually have a good intuition around this, so trust your gut.)
Should this person be staffed on this project or that person? (Understand what both people are good at and what they want to grow in. Then decide, and let the team know why.)
Decisions I spent more of my time on this year:
Do I want to continue as a Studio Coordinator? If not, what’s my ideal role in my job moving forward?
How might I best support Sam Taylor in his growth?
Do I want to move in with Kayla? (Yes, duh.) When do I want to move in with Kayla? When does she want to move in with me? How do we get her parents on board with us renting out her grandma’s old house? If we don’t get to stay at that house, should we look for a place elsewhere?
Kayla and I have talked about the idea of the both of us living separately for a month in different places. (Like I live in Yosemite and she lives in Mexico City.) Do I want this? Does she?
Do I want kids? (I don’t know yet)
What does an injury-free climbing year look like?
This year! 😊
What’s the balance between climbing outdoors and being in a committed relationship? When should both overlap? When should both be separate spaces?
Climbing outdoors and being in a committed relationship, I’ve found, are rarely at odds with each other. Kayla has been so down to travel with me to areas I want to climb at. She’s spotted me at Cracker Boy in Black Mountain. She learned how to toprope outside regardless of this being her first year in climbing. She was psyched to go to Patagonia with me.
Perhaps I need to let go of the idea that being in a relationship and climbing outside are at odds with each other.
A few years ago, a narrative I held was that being in a relationship meant that I had to sacrifice my own goals. While in certain cases that’s true, I was mostly wrong. I exceed my goals with (and often because of) my partner’s love and support.
And I get to support their growth.
And I discover new parts of myself that I wouldn’t have discovered if I did it alone. (My mom says I laugh a lot more since I’ve been with Kayla.)
Orna Guralink, a masterful couple’s therapist, says that “you have to love and want to change to transform a relationship. You have to want the relationship and love your partner enough to move you to transcend yourself.” This tracks with another quote on love that I like a lot by Erich Fromm: “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”
I used to be afraid of extending myself for another person. But with Kayla, me extending myself ended up being a version of myself that I’ve wanted all along: I’m much more lighthearted, much more playful, and much more like a kid again. I used to be critical of how self-critical I was (god what a spiral). Now, I rarely take rejections or failures personally. I try to spend time with my grandma — Kayla had such a deep connection with her grandma and I’m inspired.
I’m still sometimes afraid of what else I’d have to extend to love someone else. But the way this is framed misses an important part of Fromm’s quote: “Love is the will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another’s spiritual growth.”
Ten times out of ten, the newer version of myself is the version of myself that I wanted all along. It’s the me that I love, the me my partner loves, and the me that my family and friends love.
At the same time, my partner is transcending herself. And I love the person she is and who she will become. We grow ourselves, together. It’s a continual dance; a constant state of symmathesy. Knowing that we are flawed individuals trying our best for ourselves and for our partner.
I used to be afraid love because I was afraid of what I’d have to give up to love. But now I see that love is a force multiplier for unleashed potential. I like the person I become when I love someone, I like the person my partner becomes when she loves me, and I like the people my friends and family become when they see the two of us growing. Love is how systems of people transcend. I can’t wait to see what we become.
2022 Open Questions
Continuing the practice of ending my annual reviews with open questions to frame the next year.
How do I engage in a sustainable pace in everything that I do? What role does rest play in 2023?
As I progress my bouldering next year, what do I want my relationship with sport climbing to be like? Do I want to push my sport climbing level? If so, how do I progress sport climbing and bouldering in a sustainable way?
Where/when do I want multi-pitch to fit into the picture? Is doing multi-pitch in El Chaltén and/or Yosemite something that I want to do one day? If it is something I’m serious about, what might I have to give up?
What might my finances need to be like to support Kayla’s and my continued travels and willingness to find a home base in LA? What must I say no to?
Live remotely. Live with Kayla. Start my own independent consulting practice. Get into multi-pitch. All three goals all take some amount of time and $$$. Which goal most deserves my time and money right now? Which goal isn’t as important to allocate resources towards right now?
One year from now, Sam Taylor says he had a remarkable experience being mentored. What happened? What needs to be in place today to make that happen?
How can I contribute to increasing diversity in the outdoor climbing community?
In Radical simply means grasping the root, I wrote: “The more I delve deeper into org design, the more I realize that the asymmetrical power dynamics in an organization are a microcosm of the of the asymmetrical power dynamics in society. I feel humbled when I think about this. It’s as if org design is just one small speck in the vast universe of meaningful change.” How can I apply my org design mind and skills toward a more liberated and more just world?
🤎
Thank you for reading.
If you end up writing one, or read one you like, add it here.